Tom's Page

Thomas R. Fasulo is an extension entomologist in the University of Florida's Entomology and Nematology Department. Instead of having a commodity or crop responsibility, his job description basically reads "to develop computer software in support of entomology and nematology". As such, he is one of the few people in the world who are paid to actually develop buggy software. Most of the others work for Microsoft.

That's all you really need to know, but if you're the nosey type, read on...

NOTICE: Ignore references to the IH8PCs Newsletter. My server crashed and I have not felt the inclination to rebuild the site elsewhere as yet.

I like to tell people that I "got into computers through the back door". While attending graduate school at the University of Missouri, I took computer courses to give myself an edge when I realized that all the other students were smarter than I was. And it worked! A 1978 position announcement from the University of Florida described a job that required knowledge of Integrated Pest Management (IPM) and computers. I applied and started work on 12 February 1979. All the other applicants who didn't take computer courses never had a chance. The irony of it was that I never used computers in that job. And I'm still not 100% convinced computers will work with IPM, even though it is a three-letter acronym.

However, after spending three years working in citrus Integrated Pest Management for UF, I did move into a position where I used computers, and rapidly worked my way to infamy and misfortune. I can prove it too, as the dean threatened me with the loss of my job. The fact that I'm still here and he's gone shows that I'm the survivor type. Besides, when you've had people try to kill you, why worry about some bureaucrat who can only take away your job.

The I Hate Computers e-Newsletter began in 1991 (as "Bits & Bytes") as an informal attempt to convey my limited knowledge of computers to several University of Florida Cooperative Extension Service specialists and agents that I worked with. I was finally persuaded in 1994 to go big time (The Information DirtRoad). I had to change the name of my e-Newsletter to something else, as "Bits & Bytes" was used by at least two other publications that I was aware of. So on July 1, 1994, the I Hate Computers Newsletter was born. At the same time I applied for an International Standard Serials Number from the Library of Congress. The Library of Congress not only awarded me my very own number (1076-7967), but requested that my IH8PCs Newsletter be made available on-site for their visitors. I'm not sure, but I think this is where Newt Gingrich, Al Gore and other government leaders got much of their wrong information about computers.

Where do I obtain my information about computers? Well, I read more computer publications than I care to think about.

If you like having access to the back issues of I Hate Computers, then you need to thank the compulsive people on my mailing list who nagged me for access to back issues so that they can statistically analyze and chart the progressive decline of my mental capabilities. [Note: To get back at these people I eliminated the IH8PCs mailing list in 1997.]

One thing I do know about computers is that the sure road to success is to hire the right people. I've been very fortunate in that the students in Computer Science, Electrical Engineering, Business and other disciplines who have worked for me over the years have refrained from laughing at me until I leave the room. Of course they don't know a silverfish from an earwig, and have yet to figure out why all insects are not bugs. But as long as I let them load the latest computer games on all my systems, work wierd hours (nights and weekends), and bring pizza into the lab, they usually do what I ask them.

On the other hand, my student employees eventually learn that insects have six legs and that it is perfectly proper to mention "piercing-sucking mouthparts" in mixed company without being thought crude. This makes them well-rounded, compared to other Computer Science and Electrical Engineering students. As a result, large companies look upon them as potential management material and hire them at very nice salaries. Several of my employees have started their first jobs at more than I'm making after twenty years at UF. My dream is that one of them will eventually become CEO at a multi-billion computer corporation and hire me as the company entomologist in my declining years (which started last week).

Unlike some other specialists in the natural sciences, I have a wide exposure to the social sciences. In addition to my Master's degree in Entomology, I have two Bachelor's degrees, one in Wildlife and Fisheries and another in Political Science. The latter degree helped me understand that the political process doesn't work, especially on the international scale. It was politicians who sent me to Viet Nam, and many is the day I wished they were there with me.

1st LT. Thomas R. Fasulo
U.S.M.C.
Hue City, Viet Nam, 1972

While taking my degree in Political Science at a small liberal arts college in Baltimore, Maryland (College Motto: Would you like your crabcake with a bun or crackers?), I also took eighteen credits in theology and twenty-one credits in philosophy. Perhaps it was these courses that helped me realize that life is too short to be taken seriously. This concept governs my entire life. You'll understand that better as you read some of my newsletters, as I write the way I think. In addition, almost all of the 121 credits I took for my Political Science degree required a great deal of writing. As a result, I like to think that I write well, despite what the English teachers at that college used to tell me. But what did they know! Tom Clancy, a college friend and classmate, received his degree in English, with their approval, and he was a terrible writer. (Hmmmm.... I wonder what ever happened to Clancy? Probably teaching high school English some place.)

After getting my Political Science degree I went into the Marine Corps. It was the first year of the Viet Nam draft. After spending three weeks in Marine Corps Officer Candidate School drafting numerous plans to kill my D.I., my mother wrote and told me that my draft number was 360. This is a perfect example of what I mean by "life is too short to be taken seriously". But I played along with the joke and seven more fun-filled (for the D.I.) weeks later, I became an United States Marine Corps officer.

One of the reason I volunteered for the U.S. Marine Corps was because it promised "three square meals a day." After I was in the Corps for awhile, I went back and looked at the fine print on my contract to see if I had missed something about which day it would serve those "three square meals." Eventually I realized that the reason they called them "square meals" was because they came in little boxes left over from World War II.

After four years as an officer in the Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine, I resigned my regular commission. I did this because fours years as a Marine was enough to convince me that I wanted nothing more to do with anything military. I was eventually proven wrong.

In 1993 I decided to once again enter into the military service of my country. However, it was the military service of 140 years ago. I joined a Civil War reenactors group and, unlike Viet Nam, I regularly get killed seven to eight times a year.

Pvt. Thomas R. Fasulo
U.S. Infantry
Olustee, Florida, 1997

Now why would a highly intelligent person like myself engage in a hobby that requires me to wear wool clothes (my trousers are an authentic 22 ounces to the yard) on hot Florida days? I do it because I Hate Computers! I need to do something that doesn't have anything to do with computers. The only way to do that today, is to go back to the past. And it's been wonderful. I highly recommend this hobby if your job is stressful, as nothing relieves stress like a couple of bayonet charges. And unlike other jobs or activities, when you get tired or bored... you can die, fall down, and take a nap, while still participating in your hobby.

 Pvt. Thomas R. Fasulo
Florida Volunteer Infantry
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, 1993

The photos on this page are of me in my Union and Confederate uniforms. The rifle and other equipment are reproductions, but authentic. My clothes are hand-sewn and of the proper fabric and pattern. While I strive to be authentic, I don't count threads. (Other reenactors understand what I mean.) In addition, because I'm an entomologist I don't have to buy my lice from the sutlers, as I grow them myself. (Just kidding.)

Rare photo of a bearded
Pvt. Thomas R. Fasulo
Florida Volunteer Infantry
Somewhere in North Central Florida, 1997

This two-month-old beard was
shaved off the very next day.

But enough, you really came here to read my newsletter. So go ahead, but be forewarned! I make numerous comments about the computer industry and other topics and do not apologize for them ('cause I'm an ex-Marine). If you don't like these comments, then please don't read my newsletter.

Also, I hope the information in my newsletter will increase your productivity, save you money, and enhance the quality of your life. Meanwhile, remember that the computer on your desk is not your friend but your enemy, and you should deal with it as such. In times of intense frustration you might also remember that no one has ever been executed for killing a computer.


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